Middle earth to tortall
by Lady-Daine
Summary: CHAPTER 18 is up!! I'm sorry I haven't updated forever!! The gods of writing begin to fix the mess...
1. OOPS

Middle earth to Tortall  
  
{I am well aware of the stuff in this story that does not often make sense. Quite tired of stories when Legolas and Aragorn are transported to a place full of fans, I took them to a place when no one has heard of them. This is my first fan fiction piece. Reviews are appreciated. Its not really humorous I guess, just an idea…)  
  
1 Chapter 1, the switch  
  
  
  
~~In Tortall~~~  
  
Numair stood at the top of Balor's Needle, dark magic surrounding him. Daine stood a distance away, impatiently. "Come on!" She said impatiently. "You said you needed five minutes to perform this spell! We are going to be up here until midnight!"  
  
"No it's only 2 after ten. That's two minutes" he replied  
  
"It's been two hours!"  
  
"It has?" Numair looked at the sundial directly below him in the palace gardens  
  
"You idiot. The Sun Dial works in the Sun. It's a sundial. It doesn't work when there's no sun!" Daine paced around exasperated. "If we stay longer then they'll send a search party up here looking for us.  
  
"OK, fine, just let me finish this one spell!" he smiled at her impatient face. "Please, just this one!"  
  
"That's what you said an hour ago, when you though it was only one after ten!"  
  
"Just this one more?" He stuck his chin out and tried to make it quiver. He only succeeded at wiggling his nose. Daine fell on the floor laughing at his excuse for a longing face and agreed.  
  
"Fine, but one more and I'll tell the hawk over there to push you off this thing." She managed to choke out. Numair didn't reply He just got back to his spell working.  
  
A half hour later, Daine tapping her foot on the ground, anxious to go to bed heard Numair speak. "Oops, that wasn't supposed to happen." A green glowing sphere was enlarging and swelling in front of him. Daine screamed, "What did you do?"…  
  
  
  
~~~Middle earth –Mirkwood forest~~~  
  
Pippin had just finished cooking dinner when Legolas, with his keen elf ears, heard a sound somewhere out in the forest. There was a scream and then a voice sounded. "What did you do?" Being the one to help people in need, He immediately related the sounds to his friends. "I'll go find out what's going on." Aragorn said quickly. The others shook their heads.  
  
"We should all go! If there's something wrong then…"  
  
"No just me, and Legolas. If something happens to us then the rest of you must go." Legolas butted in.  
  
"Thank you for that, I'm grateful that you care so much about my safety." Offended he sniffed and got his bow.  
  
"Its not that Legolas." Aragorn assured him quickly. "It just that you're the only one that heard the sounds."  
  
"Fine then, let's go. If something was attacked, it'll be dead before we get there." Legolas said No longer offended but proud of his elfin senses.  
  
"If we do not return by dawn, leave without us" Aragorn warned the others. The two walked off.  
  
"What time's dawn?" Frodo asked pulling out a large alarm clock from his backpack.  
  
The two Lumbered through the woods briskly. As soon as they were a quarter mile in, they spied a giant green sphere of light. Legolas shot an arrow at it, and was satisfied when he heard someone curse. "Great Mithros, Daine, did you tell that hawk to bite me?"  
  
"Let's take it from the back" Aragorn whispered. The two crept around the sphere and then pounced in on it. They were quite surprised when they hit empty air, and then a stone floor. Legolas Cursed in Elfish, scrambling to get back on his feet. Aragorn groaned but got up almost as quickly. They were exceedingly flabbergasted to find that they were in a tower of some palace with a man in his late thirties and a girl in her late teens staring at them. They didn't look particularly harmful but nonetheless Legolas strung his bow.  
  
"Ok…" Said Numair. "I think we need to do a little explaining." Daine hissed at him  
  
"If the king doesn't kill you then I'm defiantly next in line.  
  
  
  
Chapter 2: OOOPS!!!  
  
  
  
"And so these two" Numair gestured at Legolas and Aragorn "Came through" King Jon and his champion, Alanna stared curiously at the new comers. Legolas scowled at Numair. He'd been that way since he figured out that Numair had, inadvertently created a portal from middle earth to Tortall. The one problem was that he didn't remember how to recreate it. They'd be stuck in the Palace until he found out how to do it again. Aragorn however stared at the king as he spoke to them uncertainly. "I deeply regret the mistake of our mage..." He glared at Numair. "Until he figures the reversal you may stay here as our guests…" Legolas cut in. "That's ok, we'll just find the way on our-" Aragorn who hit him cut him off by hitting him- hard. Aragorn bowed gracefully. "Thank you sire, we will hopefully find the way back soon. You see we're on this quest to save the world and…" It was Legolas's turn to cut him off.  
  
"Didn't your mother ever teach you not to talk to strangers?" he hissed  
  
What happens next will have to wait for another time…. I have Trig HW. Any ideas will be appreciated. E-mail address is Laurellight13@yahoo.com bye for now!! 


	2. back again, but not alone

From middle earth to Tortall – part 2  
  
This is the continuation to "From middle earth to Tortall – part 1" At this point Legolas and Aragorn were accidentally thrown into Tortall by a flaky spell on Numair's part. Now, until Numair can remember how he made the Portal, they're stuck in Tortall. In this chapter Alanna get exceedingly mad an Aragorn leading in a dual, and Daine is becoming more and more fond of Legolas... As the Middle earth to Tortall series continues.  
  
Legolas paced the room, looking at his surroundings. There were two beds, a dressing room, a privy and a desk, all neatly set out. Aragorn did the same, though every once in awhile he would mutter something about flaky mages. They had been given a room in the royal wing for the time being. "Now what do we do?" Legolas complained to Aragorn. "Can't we just hurt the mage a little-"?  
  
"No! You know you're really impatient for an elf. We will wait, and hopefully in the mean time, learn something about this place." Legolas gave him a piercing look.  
  
"Keep in mind that we have left the fate of middle earth in the hands three little gluttonous thing, only one has a brain, a crazy man, and a short little bearded thingy that likes to talk about gold. Knowing that it's very hard to relax!" Legolas gave up pacing and sat on his bed  
  
"They'll do fine, and we'll hopefully get back soon enough."  
  
"Not with that mage working on it"  
  
"Go to bed Legolas!"  
  
"Fine." Legolas stormed into the dressing room. Aragorn half laughed as he said, "what are you doing, your bed's out here!" Legolas came out again with his bow and quiver that he had stored in it.  
  
"I know I was getting my bow."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I'm going to shoot you and then get the mage."  
  
~  
  
Aragorn woke up early to see sun pouring through his window. Groaning, he got up to see Legolas sprawled on the floor next to his bed. Laughing softly, he weighed his options. Mainly he wanted to explore the castle and then the Page's and squire's training yards that Lady Alanna had told him about the might before. His only risk was leaving Legolas to try and kill Numair the mage. Finally Aragorn figured that Legolas had given up on the mage and would be able to fend for himself when he awoke. Walking outside the door, he found a note written by Lady Alanna:  
  
1 Go to the kitchens when you desire anything to eat  
  
You are free to wander the castle grounds, and the city but make sure that  
  
Myself or the King knows where you are so that  
  
You might be summoned if Numair re-opens the portal.  
  
~Lady Alanna  
  
Aragorn found his way to the kitchens where a bustling cook handed him a turnover and quickly wandered away. He then walked out onto the rolling green grounds of the training yards. A group working with swords in a fenced in potion of the field quickly caught his attention as he climbed a hill. Lady Alanna was teaching. Aragorn jumped a fence and sat, still munching his turnover as she corrected a grip on a young squire's sword. When she had set them in pairs to drill, Alanna walked over to see him.  
  
"Ever taken swordsmanship lessons?" se asked causally.  
  
"Born and bred a prince, I've carried a sword around since I could walk." he replied coolly. Alanna was taken by surprise and turned red from addressing royalty in that fashion.  
  
"Oh" she said trying to regain composure. "Did you train knights to be at your palace?"  
  
"Certainly" he replied, "Only we did things a little differently." He gestured at the classes taking place around them. "Our system was a little bit more… effective." he finished wickedly. Alanna turned red again.  
  
"Are you saying that our methods of teaching are not effective?" she demanded hotly.  
  
"No not at all, its just that we have well rounded knights. They have all kinds teachers, Elves, Dwarves, all I see around here are humans!" Alanna's infamous temper flared  
  
"Ok fine. How about you show off your wonderful elfin skills now, against me!" Yes it worked! Thought Aragorn.  
  
"Ok" he replied unsheathing his sword and dropping off the fence. Alanna called out to her pupils  
  
"Clear the field! This is an exhibition of real skill!"  
  
~  
  
Legolas had woken up only a few minutes after Aragorn. Instead of heading to the kitchen however, he took some traveler's bread wrapped in a napkin that he had stowed at the bottom of his quiver. Walking out into the hallway, he was too preoccupied with his own thoughts until he bumped right into Daine! He began to mutter an apology when she looked up at him, quite surprised. Her pretty gray eyes had a sudden affect on him as she stared into his own, sea blue ones.  
  
"Umm Hi," she said shyly. "You're the elf the got stranded her, right? Is there anything of interest I might show you to?"  
  
"No thank you" he replied "I was going to examine the archery range..."  
  
"Oh! I was on my way there too, I need to go see my horse and the stable is just beyond it." Legolas smiled at her before offering his arm. The two of them walked towards their destination chatting.  
  
"…I'm a wild mage, the king keeps me around to deal with…"  
  
"A wild mage?" Legolas interrupted. "I've heard of them, they have some of the power an elf does with animals, I guess that makes us all wild mages."  
  
"Really?" Daine was fascinated. They kept on chatting, hardly noticing that they had reached the archery court until…  
  
"Merie of Gothshill, can't you hit a target that's right in front of you?" You're acting like a blind man with a walking stick!"  
  
"Who's that?" Legolas asked Daine. Her faced hardened  
  
"It's that horrible training master, Lord Wyldon, he's forever hounding the poor boys."  
  
Legolas's face was grim. "I think he should be taught a nice lesson, don't you think?" Daine smiled impishly up at him.  
  
"What did you have in mind?"  
  
Daine walked up to Lord Wyldon boldly. When he acknowledged her, she spoke in a clear voice. "My lord Prince Legolas of Mirkwood wishes to challenge you to an archery match. Do you wish to show your students how real archery is carried out?" Lord Wyldon frowned. He didn't wish to have a match at the moment but the temptation of a challenge was nagging at him.  
  
"Very well, I will take him on."  
  
"Thank you my lord, I am pleased." Legolas had used his elfin skills to walk silently behind him. Wyldon jumped but quickly regained his composure.  
  
"What is the target to be sir Legolas?" Legolas looked around searching for something suitable but failed.  
  
"You will shoot one of my arrows up, and I shall hit it before it falls to the ground, then you will do the same to one of my arrows." Wyldon jumped again. Surely no one was that good. However by honor he was forced to conform. Looking up he silently shot one of his arrows towards the sun with a long bow. Legolas grabbed his own bow and without even aiming. Wyldon's arrow came down, split in half. Legolas shot another arrow straight up. Wyldon tried to aim but his shot cleanly missed that target, leaving him to wallow in the rage of losing. The boys standing around him were dumbfounded and the boy that Wyldon had yelled at before was smiling gleefully.  
  
Daine and Legolas bowed courteously and arms linked, walked away. They had only gone so far when loud clanking noises filled the air.  
  
"Uh oh." said Legolas, "That sounds like Aragorn's sword. Alanna and Aragorn had been at it for two hours, neither of them getting an advantage or disadvantage over the other. Legolas and Daine joined the group of boys goggling at the sight of them. It would have gone on longer if King Jon had not interceded. Walking over the lawn he called out; "ALANNA!! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I FORBIDDEN YOU TO CHALLEGE MEN, ESPECIALLY GUESTS ON PERSONAL GROUNDS??????"  
  
Alanna froze and dropped her sword. Aragorn stopped as well. Jon stormed up to the fence still fuming with anger. "I was just coming to tell you that Numair has unlocked the portal again. Aragorn and Legolas must hurry before it closes again. Aragorn and Alanna as well as Legolas and Daine looked sorrowfully at each other but nonetheless trudged up to the tower.  
  
"I'll miss you, maybe sometime you could come back?" asked Daine to Legolas.  
  
"Only if your crazy mage messes things up again." He replied. The Portal grew larger and larger.  
  
"Come back again if you want me to cream you." Alanna said to Aragorn.  
  
"If I could back again, you're pudding!" he retorted. Numair just stood there, but he shook hands with both elf and man. Daine couldn't help but be sad from losing a newfound friend. A Single tear fell from here cheek into the swelling ball of light that would take them away. Suddenly the entire room was full of green light and all five people vanished.  
  
When their vision cleared, they were back in the dark forest that Legolas and Aragorn had started in. Numair slapped his head against his head. Alanna, Aragorn, and Legolas all cursed in separate languages. Daine just stood dumbfounded. Numair broke the silence. "I'll just make another one, to get back..." His black magic swirled around him but was quickly quenched. "Uh oh." he said quietly. The others stared at him.  
  
"What's wrong?" Alanna asked. Numair frowned.  
  
"There's some kind of force around this place that won't allow me to use magic. We're stuck here until it is removed."  
  
  
  
TO BE CONTINUED… please review, any ideas are welcome. Thankee and hope you are looking forward to next piece. 


	3. Legolas in love?

Middle earth to Tortall, chapter 3  
  
"You mean we're stuck here?" Alanna demanded. Daine was caught between being overjoyed and unhappy. Numair nodded wearily.  
  
"Until we can remove the magical aura that's been placed over this land, yes." Aragorn was puzzled over this matter  
  
"I don't know very much about magic but we can ask Gandalf, he might know." Numair's gloomy mood suddenly disappeared. "Gandalf, you mean the great and powerful..." Legolas grinned. "Yeah I think that's him, we don't like to use that title, we prefer to call him Gandy" "Which really annoys him" Aragorn finished. He made his way back through the woods to the camp, only to see that Pippin and Merri had managed to steal Gandalf's staff and was attempting to turn Aragorn's shield into a toad, however this was hard to focus on because they were being chased around the fire. Gimli and Gandalf were chasing them and Frodo and Sam were shaking with mirth. Boromir was nowhere to be seen. Aragorn put on his sternest voice, which was hard because he was shaking with laughter and said, "You do blasted hobbits, what are you doing to my shield. The two hobbits along with Gandalf, Gimli, Frodo and Sam froze in place. Legolas put on a mock-insulted manner.  
  
"You!" he pointed an accusing finger at the rest of the fellowship, Had no faith that we would come back! You didn't think we would! How rude, and we brought guests, have you not prepared anything for them?" After that it was very hard for anyone to keep a straight face. One by one they all burst into laughter, even Alanna.  
  
  
  
Gandalf listened to their story carefully, and then after much though replied to it. "It seems that the evil aura of the ring has caused a magical barrier for aura users, the kind of magic that you practice, Numair. It seems the only way to re-enable your magical abilities is to destroy that ring, which is going to take a while." Alanna and Numair groaned, Daine half smiled at Legolas who smiled back. Gandalf continued, "We can send you to Rivendell, where you would be safe until the ring is destroyed. Alanna shook her head.  
  
"It seems to me that it would be more helpful if we came along and helped to protect the ring bearer. Besides, Numair wishes to learn more from you about magic, Daine wishes to spend more time with Legolas, and I have a score to settle with Aragorn without interference by my king." Daine and Numair nodded.  
  
"The extra protection is greatly appreciated, however you must know that your life is in danger by picking such a choice.  
  
"We do." Said Daine. "Its not new to us."  
  
"Very well, we are on our way to the Mines of Moria, the quickest road to Mordor where the ring must be destroyed. Which weapons will you take up?" Numair gestured to his staff, Alanna her sword, but Daine just shrugged. "I didn't bring anything, I'm a good shot with a bow though…" Legolas stood up.  
  
"Then we'll make you one. Come" Together they walked off into the woods to "Gather materials." Pippin stood up too. "Wait for me, I wanna come too!!" Legolas turned and shot an arrow at him backwards. The flat end hit Pippin in the chest, causing him to fall over backwards. "I guess they want to be alone." He said gloomily.  
  
"Come on, I want to show you this place I found earlier when we were camped here." Legolas said to Daine.  
  
"Don't we need to get stuff for a bow?"  
  
"Nope, I have a spare back at camp."  
  
"Wow, I thought Elves couldn't lie."  
  
"Seeing you makes me do witty things." Daine blushed but she replied  
  
"Me too." Legolas bent down and kissed her gently on the cheek. She put her arms around his and whispered into ear. "Do you believe in love at first sight?" He replied with another kiss and "Not until I met you." They carried on in such fashion until Legolas looked up. "We should go back, they'll miss us." When they returned Legolas announced. "I just remembered, I have a spare in my bag."  
  
"Took you long enough to figure that one out." Muttered Merri.  
  
  
  
They started off early the next morning, arriving at the Mines of Moria that evening without much incident.  
  
  
  
What happens next? I need some ideas please. And also examination and REVIEW REVIEW!!!!! HURRY!! SEND you idea to me too!!! Thankee 


	4. through the mines

Middle earth to Tortall and back again part 4!!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from Tamora Pierce, or from Lord of the rings, but I did go se it for the 4th time today and there was a great trailer for two towers, lol. Nothing here is mine except for me (Hugs self)  
  
Also: kaori knight, Numair would be Jealous, but wait what I have in store for him (maw ha ha ha ha hah)  
  
  
  
After reaching the mines of Moria, Gandalf read the doorway riddle to the company of now twelve. Besides Frodo, Sam, Pippin, Merrie, Boromir, Aragorn, Gimili, Gandalf and Legolas, Daine Numair and Alanna of Tortall were in the fellowship. Because of course, Gandalf couldn't open the door, Aragorn and Alanna decided to blow off some steam by continuing their dual where King Jon could no longer intercede. Unsheathing their swords, they quickly got an audience of the Hobbits save Frodo, Gimili, Numair and Boromir, all fascinated by their friends fighting each other. Legolas sat with Daine just chatting quietly about different things, Daine trying out the bow that he had given her. Frodo frowned at the riddle, naturally trying to figure it out. Gandalf gave up the riddle and joined Aragorn and Alanna's audience. Alanna brought her sword over her head as though to strike and then whirled it quickly around her and struck for Aragorn's side. He blocked it and forced her weapon up, sliding his blade out and went spiraling around her trying a back strike. Alanna spun with him and blocked his attempted strike. They went on, easily equally gifted with a sword. Finally Frodo asked Gandalf what the elfish word for friend was, and the doors to Moria opened. Alanna and Aragorn, still without a victor put off their dual until another point of time.  
  
Walking in, the company was horrified to find that all the dwarves in Moria had in fact been killed. Gimili was overcome with grief. Daine, unused to such horrors tried to hide it but was unsuccessful as Legolas swept her into a sympathetic embrace. Walking out Daine flinched. There was a nearby creature, something horrible. She spoke out.  
  
"There's something nearby, a creature." Aragorn, in the lead looked back.  
  
"What? How do you know?" Legolas answered for her.  
  
"She is a Langsha, a wild mage, she can speak to and sense animals." Aragorn was uncertain until a slimy tentacle reached out of the water and grabbed Pippin by the leg, pulling him back into the water. Alanna, quickest to unsheathe her sword, chopped at it frantically. It reclined into the water, leaving pippin onshore. Everyone sighed with relief except Daine thinking the assault was over. She screamed,  
  
No, there's more its…" Another hundred or so tentacles came streaming out of the water. One grabbed Pippin, another Merrie, and a third, Daine. Legolas, Alanna, Aragorn, Numair, and Boromir rushed in to help them. Alanna chopped at Merrie's bonds while Aragorn and Boromir hacked at Pippin's. Numair tried hitting them with a staff, but finding that it didn't do much, he quickly went to throwing black magical fireballs at it. Legolas shot an arrow quickly at Daine's bindings and then pulled out a short sword from behind and cut at it. He was almost through with it when the tentacle drew back, taking Daine with it. Legolas shot a panicked arrow at it frantically. It hit, the tentacle threw itself up in the air in pain, dropping Daine thirty feet up at in the air, falling fast. She hysterically tried to shape shift to no avail; her magic of another realm was as useless as Numair's. Oh great, she thought. I'm falling to my death and it's Numair's fault. As soon as he dies I'm gonna… Her thoughts were once again cut off by the nearness of the water coming below her. Daine closed her eyes. Sturdy hands caught her. She opened them slowly to find Legolas's worried face looking at her  
  
"I'm going to kill that mage," he said. "If it's the last thing I do."  
  
They raced into the cave away from the water creatures, finding themselves trapped in it and having only one option- to go through the minds. Gimili was still weepy so Legolas and Daine took on the task of cheering him up, though it was quite difficult. Walking slowly, they talked and joked until Gandalf forgot the way and they needed to stop. Even though Numair and Daine tried to persuade against it, Alanna decided that since they were along, they should take their turns cooking. (For all those who haven't read Tamora Pierce, Alanna's cooking hasn't killed anyone, YET) Legolas took a bite of the "Stew" that she had made, shuttered violently and decided to eat the Elfish traveler's bread that he had stored. Aragorn and Boromir, used to unappetizing food, winced at the first bite, then managed to eat the rest given to them without a word, though they didn't have seconds. Daine shared Legolas's bread, as offered to her. Gimili poured some nameless herbs that he randomly had with him into it, and seemed to enjoy himself though the meal was more herbs then soup. Alanna ate her own cooking without a word, Numair and Gandalf decided they weren't very hungry though Numair warned him that he better figure out the way soon or else they'd also have to endure the fast for breakfast. The Company made a silent pack to dump it over a cliff when Alanna went to sleep, and everything would have worked out ok except a certain couple of Hobbits were properly offended. Pippin took one sniff into the pot and yelled out.  
  
"This isn't edible. What do you take us for milady, a couple of brandy bucks? At this Merrie tackled him but smelling the soup he also cried out,  
  
"Even a Brandy Buck wouldn't go within a mile of this." Alanna scowled but Boromir called out.  
  
"Forgive the halflings milady, they are particularly picky about their food." He raised his voice slightly and added solemnly "As a part of the Fellowship of the ring, I forbid you to challenge the Hobbits to a dual to settle this quarrel. I myself trained them with a sword and I fear you'll be sorely disappointed to lose to them." Alanna came after him, brandishing a soup ladle.  
  
"I'll get you." she told him, putting it down. "After I can find some good rope so I can kill you with one hand tied behind my back." The Hobbits meanwhile bore the pot of stew to the edge of a cliff and began to dump it off.  
  
"Careful" Daine warned them. "Anyone who defies Alanna dies a terrible death!" The Hobbits, being good cooks threw together some cold sandwiches to everyone's relief. Gandalf stood up. Lady Alanna's soup had made the entire cavern smell, and it leaked into the all of the possible tunnels they could take, save one.  
  
"This way." Gandalf said, pointing to it. It's the one with the least foul smell. When in doubt, follow your nose!"  
  
They were all in awe of the great mines, and because you all know what I'm talking about I'm going to skip along to the section where they are all being chased by the ancient fire demon. Nothing much happened between this time except killing a few orcs apiece and a mountain troll.  
  
"Run!!" Gandalf yelled racing down the rocky bridges of Moria. "This is something that not sword no bow can kill. Let me take care of it!" Everyone except for Gandalf and Numair raced down through the bridges. "GO" Gandalf ordered Numair, you can't use your magic here!"  
  
"I can try." Numair replied, gathering his power. "I can do little things, remember those fire balls? To kill this thing we need to combine powers!" The monster advanced. Hurriedly Gandalf took his hand. Black and white mixed as their powers swelled together. A huge ball of light appeared and the two released it at the demon. It hit is square in the chest, then doubled back and hit Numair. The Monster stopped screaming, a dazed look in its eyes. Numair got the same look. Slowly the came together until they were almost touching. Then they embraced. Gandalf slapped his hand against his head.  
  
"A confounded love spell." He bellowed. "Our powers created a love spell and now our mage is in love with a fire demon!" The entire fellowship, Alanna and Daine Doubled up in laughter, not bothering to keep it concealed. Numair whispered into the Demon's ear and the two walked side by side up to the rest.  
  
"His name is Alex." Numair announced to them. "He wants to help us destroy the ring and come see Tortall. It will give us a ride to Mordor" The demon nodded and pat each of the fellowship on the head, then lifted them up to ride on his/its? Shoulders. Gandalf cursed in every language he knew. His vocabulary impressed the men, but the other's had heard and could speak many of them.  
  
"What now?" Aragorn asked. "It looks like he'll carry us to Mordor if we ask." Gandalf shook his head."  
  
"No, we go to the lady of the wood, she perhaps will be able to help us." Alanna sighed.  
  
"Are you sure we couldn't just leave him like this, just until we destroy the ring? It would be a great way to torture him when we get home. All the ladies in the realm love to hear these kinds of stories…"  
  
"No, if we leave it too long the spell may become permanent." The hobbits, who couldn't stop laughing, finally managed to control themselves.  
  
"Uh, Numair?" Boromir asked, trying to hold in his own mirth. "Can you ask it to take us to the Lady of the wood's palace?" Numair whispered into its ear. It started to bound off at a great speed, them holding onto it for dear life. Legolas sighed  
  
"On to The Lady of the wood." He said to himself and Daine. "we can get you a proper bow, and have some peace and quiet."  
  
  
  
Please REVIEW REVIEW will write another chapter soon 


	5. Borimir preposes, and Romeo and Gollum?

Disclaimer: I own nothing ( I hope you don't mind if I throw a couple of reviewers into the story (  
  
From middle earth to Tortall part five  
  
With the help of the Fire demon, Balrog who Numair said was named Alex, the fellowship got to Lothlorien quickly. As soon as they stepped foot inside the forest, they were surrounded by elves. They had seen them coming, but not an angry Balrog, and they were thrown back by its nasty screeches. Gandalf slid down the back of it and bowed to the elves.  
  
"We umm, had a small magical error in the Mines of Moria, Numair that mage was blasted by a love spell, as was the Balrog, we need Galadrial's help in reversing the spell." The leader of the elf scouts poked his head out from behind a tree,  
  
"Ok, bring the umm,"  
  
"Alex" Numair called down. The elf scout looked deeply disturbed. He muttered under his breath, "I don't know if even Lady Galadrial can reverse this one."  
  
"Ok Alex." He called up. "This way"  
  
The Balrog did cause havoc when they reached the palace. The Balrog couldn't fit up the long flights of stairs, and Numair threw a temper tantrum when they suggested leaving it down and coming back for it.  
  
"No!" he exclaimed. ""His feelings are deeply hurt by your disregard for another living thing." Daine argued,  
  
"Just for a minute Numair? Please?"  
  
"NOOOOO!" Afraid that Numair would go crazy and order the demon to start spitting fire at everyone, Gandalf agreed to go up and plead the case to Galadrial while the rest waited.  
  
Gandalf walked up the last light of stairs and bowed low to Galadrial and her husband, Celeborn. Celeborn spoke first.  
  
"Nine left Rivendell, two left and came back with five before you entered Moria, and now I see only one of twelve." Suddenly he looked confused  
  
"That really isn't right, you know, you're making our prophecies sound funny!" Galadrial closed her eyes.  
  
"The rest are with a Balrog!" She said. "So the ring bearer is destroyed, and what of the ring?" Gandalf wrung his hands.  
  
"Actually, the Balrog is here, umm."  
  
"You mean you brought the Balrog here? You know we can't bring things back from the dead anymore then you can. The ring bearer is lost."  
  
"No, you see…" Gandalf made an attempt to speak but Celeborn and Galadrial chattered back and forth frantically.  
  
"What can we do with it?"  
  
"What matters now is that the ring is gone…"  
  
"Poor Legolas, he was the son of a friend."  
  
"THE RING CELEBORN! Our world is doomed." Gandalf lost his patience.  
  
"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU OLD DUTTERS!!!" It worked. They had never been called that before, nor told to be quiet. Galadrial burst into tears. Celeborn glared at Gandalf.  
  
"Now look what you've done!"  
  
"I'm sorry it's just that…" He related what had happened to Numair in the cave." Galadrial was still crying when he finished. She replied,  
  
"Ok, I'll come down and see to it right away."  
  
It took several charms and quite a lot of spells to put Numair back to Normal and transport the Balrog back into the cave. Numair had very little memory of the past events and wouldn't have believed the rest of the fellowship's insistence that he had gone head over heels for it when from nowhere, Zurizip walked into their camp.  
  
"I would never, ever fall in love with a, a, DEMON!!"  
  
"You most unquestionably had an affair with a Balrog." Zurizip said confidently, handing him a copy of "From middle earth to Tortall." Numair flipped through it and starting cursing, crimson with embarrassment.  
  
"And why did you have to rub it in?" He asked, exasperated  
  
"It's a lot easier to taunt you that way, therefore more amusing to read!" Numair quickly grabbed the closest object to him, a jar of burn ointment and starting chasing after Zurizip with it.  
  
"I'll get you!" he threatened "And your little dog too!" At that Zurizip stopped running.  
  
"How do you know about Sadie? And aren't you a little before the wizard of oz? Also, I think you might want to keep that burn salve, you know, just in case." Numair was even more infuriated as he grabbed Alanna's sword. Brandishing it he closed in on Zurizip. Suddenly he stopped.  
  
"Who are you?" he inquired. Zurizip shrugged.  
  
"I got to go now." she disappeared. Numair continued to curse as Alanna carried on, after taking her sword back. Galadrial put a stop to it quickly.  
  
"All of you need to survive to carry out this quest. At this rate, Numair will drown one of you with burn salve, and kill the rest with a soup ladle!"  
  
Later that night, Boromir drew Alanna away from the others.  
  
"What is it?" She asked confused. He got down on one knee.  
  
"Alanna, will you marry me?" Alanna got up, utterly disgusted.  
  
"NO! I love George. Why is everyone confusing me? First Jon and now you?" She ran off, tears streaming from her eyes. Boromir was utterly depressed. He just sat there until a voice from above came down.  
  
"Weeee willlls marry Boromir. Gollum lovessssss To Get married." It was Boromir's turn to get disgusted.  
  
They sailed down the river to the west bank. The only difference from the book in this case is that there were several more boats this time. Legolas and Daine got one finally to themselves, and Numair had to have his own to keep him from killing any of the others in the fellowship. When camp was set up each person (or elf or whatever) went his or her own ways. Alanna and Aragorn continued their never-ending dual; While Daine and Legolas went off to "talk". Numair sat muttering about horrible deaths for Alanna and the rest of the fellowship. The Hobbits, Gandalf and Gimli watched the dual. Boromir went off on his own, still depressed about Alanna's refusal to his Marriage proposal. That was when the orcs attacked. They came running through the forest yelling horrific things. When they were only a foot away from Boromir, he put out a hand and said.  
  
"Not now, I'm too depressed to fight." The Orc leader put a worried expression in his face. Boromir motioned for them to sit down.  
  
"Well you see it started when…"  
  
~~~~~Ten hours later~~~~~  
  
All the Orcs had dies of Boredom, but Boromir was still going.  
  
"And the way that she was crying when she left..." This time kaori knight came walking in saying.  
  
"You killed all the orcs Boromir, you can stop…" Boromir looked up at the dead orcs.  
  
"Its soooo hard to get good listeners these day! Humph" kaori knight looked very scared and then said  
  
"Why don't you just take Gollum, he's very uummm unique!" Boromir looked shocked, and then.  
  
"I would, but our families have quite a bit of rivalry between us." Gollum came down from a nearby tree.  
  
"We willlzzzz do ittttsss in secretsss" Gollum said. "Likesss Romeo and julietsssss. I dooosss the part when sheeee drinkssss the poison." Gollum got a bottle of something out and drank half of it. He closed his eyes. Boromir started crying and then randomly took up the bottle and said.  
  
"Than with that hand that cut thy youth in twain  
  
To sunder his that was thine enemy?  
  
Forgive me, cousin! Ah, dear Juliet,  
  
Why art thou yet so erm… fair? Shall I believe  
  
That unsubstantial death is amorous,  
  
And that the lean abhorred monster keeps  
  
Thee here in dark to be his paramour?  
  
For fear of that, I still will stay with thee;  
  
And never from this palace of dim night  
  
Depart again: here, here will I remain  
  
With worms that are thy chamber-maids; O, here  
  
Will I set up my everlasting rest,  
  
And shake the yoke of inauspicious stars  
  
From this world-wearied flesh. Eyes, look your last!  
  
Arms, take your last embrace! and, lips, O you  
  
The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss  
  
A dateless bargain to engrossing death!  
  
Come, bitter conduct, come, unsavoury guide!  
  
Thou desperate pilot, now at once run on  
  
The dashing rocks thy sea-sick weary bark!  
  
Here's to my love!  
  
[Drinks]  
  
O true apothecary!  
  
Thy drugs are quick. Thus with a kiss I die.  
  
Gollum gets up and starts running around.  
  
"Poissenns makesss gollum hyper!!! Weeeee" Gollum started jumping around. ***starts doing the can can while singing you are my sunshine...looks at Boromir "  
  
Oh Drat! Boromir, what'd you go and do that for?"  
  
The rest of the fellowship came running in.  
  
"Hello" Gollum said.  
  
"Wow, he's talking normally" Said Gandalf.  
  
"It was an evil potion!" Gollum said wildly. "It makes gollum Hyper because gollum already evil."  
  
Then why'd it kill Boromir?" Asked Daine Gollum shrugged. Boromir got up and groaned. Then he looked at Frodo.  
  
"WEEE wantssss the precious!!" he called, going towards Frodo. Alanna cuffed him quickly, hitting him back to the ground.  
  
"What did you like, do like, that for?" Boromir asked. "It was like soo rude!"  
  
"You were trying to get the ring" Said Pippin  
  
"Whatever" Boromir retorted.  
  
Merry sighed. "Its back to Lothlorien I guess." he said. 


	6. the chapter where you really wonder what...

disclaimer: I own nothing here (  
  
I decided to try another format now. With the help of Zurizip, this has turned more of a disaster then anything else.  
  
The fellowship hurried back to Galadrial, trying to get Boromir to hurry with them however, that was hard.  
  
"If I go to fast I might like, ruin my makeup, or like break a nail!" He complained.  
  
"You're not wearing makeup and your nails are short and dirty." Merry told him, annoyed. Boromir looked down at them and screamed really loud.  
  
"OH MY GOD! What a nightmare!" Gandalf hit him over the head with his staff, knocking him out. The rest of the fellowship was at first shocked, but then went back to whatever they were doing as they rowed their boats as fast as they could.  
  
Galadrial heard them out and said quietly, " I will need to think about how I can do this for you  
  
Boromir stepped up to Galadrial and said "  
  
That white nightgown look was like soo last year!"  
  
Galadrial, to their surprise answered and said,  
  
"I like know, but like nothing else makes me look mysterious, and I haven't like found the time to go like shopping  
  
everyone gets really scared and backed out the door when Celeborn called out.  
  
"I think we can help you, but Gandalf will need to combine his power with Galadrial's" Little did they know, Sauraman had cursed Gandalf's power so that, whenever he tried to combine it, it resulted in a love spell. At this point it hit Gollum and Galadrial. she walked up to him.  
  
"Ohh Gollum, you're so nice and slimy…" at this Celeborn was outraged! And begins to think (ouch) then asks Alanna for revenge help, but she jokingly suggests that he dump the mirror on her...he takes it to heart... Galadrial screamed  
  
"I'm melting, I'm melting!! Ahhhhh." Pippin looked confused at this.  
  
"You're not a wicked witch!"  
  
"What's a wicked witch?" Gimli asked curiously. Celeborn undoes the love spell, and made an announcement,  
  
"Gandalf, I vote you out of the fellowship."  
  
"You can't do that!"  
  
"I'm the king of a bunch elves, I can do whatever I want!"  
  
"Darn!"  
  
"Does anyone second this vote?" Pippin raised his hand.  
  
"Once, he, he called me a **sniff** fool of a took!"  
  
"Gandalf you are hereby voted out of the fellowship of the ring." Gandalf stormed away  
  
"Fine, I'm going to tell Queen Thayet on you!" A green portal appeared and then disappeared behind him.  
  
"Why couldn't he just make one for us?" wondered Numair out loud. Slowly Daine and Legolas snuck off, taking the ring with them. Whispering to Daine Legolas said, "If no one else is going to be sane, we'd have better do this."  
  
  
  
~~~~Ten minutes later~~~~~~  
  
Many things happen (most that are too gruesome, stupid, or nonsensical to describe here) and for some odd reason or another, these people decide to randomly get married.  
  
The only answer to that we can give to you in accordance to this is 42.  
  
Frodo and Arwen  
  
Galadrial and Gollum  
  
Sauron and Alanna  
  
Aragorn and Thayet  
  
George and Sauraman  
  
Boromir and Buri  
  
Jon and Gandalf  
  
these peoples married for a real reason  
  
Daine and Legolas  
  
Kel and Cleon  
  
I won't bother adding details…….and they are well… I'll let you think about that  
  
And yes, Kel and Cleon were randomly thrown in because they rock!  
  
all of this chapter could have happened, it didn't really though it was just Gimli high on whipped cream…  
  
Frodo and Arwen's wedding: Oh Sauron! What a beautiful ring! Thank you!  
  
: Your welcome, Sauron replied  
  
: ****Frodo puts it on** the rings starts singing. It is a song that never ends...  
  
:  
  
AUGH! IT IS CURSED!!  
  
as I said, this chapter never really existed, it was a mistake when Gimli got high on whipped cream and then tried to sing the phantom of the opera resulting in a chemical reaction that caused him to write this chapter, there will be a real chapter soon  
  
Zurizip And Some: we apologize for this interruption, and hope that you will forgive the use of the hyper author alert...  
  
Zurizip And Some: BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP PPPPP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP 


	7. the chapter that has nothing to do with ...

HELLO EVEYONE AND WELCOME TO ZURIZIP'S INTERVEIWING CORNER! PLEASE WELCOME…Ringwraith #4!!!!!!!!! Born:Who knows? Who cares?  
  
%HEY!%  
  
Ok ok ok, so he does…  
  
Please welcome RINGWRAITH #4 TO THE SET OF… of…  
  
Ok, so there isn't a set…*sigh *  
  
%Hello!%  
  
So, #4, How do you feel about gandalf being voted off the fellowship? Hmmm?  
  
%erm…isnt this about me?%  
  
oh…erm…right… so…tell us about yourself…  
  
%Well, I was born in…  
  
~two hours later~  
  
…and then sauron gave me this gorgeous ring, and me being me I thought he had gotten notions…  
  
~Another two hours~  
  
…do you know how awful it is to constanly wear these things? They are sooooo uncomfortable, sometimes I wish I could just take them off and run free…%  
  
* cringe* Please, spare me…  
  
~nother 2~  
  
* snore*  
  
%And THEN he made me baby sit these two teenage prats!%  
  
* Snort* Crap! Its time to go folks ::snaps fingers::  
  
%::dissappears::%  
  
K folks! Next on Zurizip's interveiwing corner, LEGOLAS!!! ::ducks fangirls:: 


	8. A random interview....

Zurizip: ::randomly appears in story:: Hello!  
  
Legolas: Ummm, hi…  
  
Zurizip: Hi Daine! Sorry, but I gotta take Leggy here to get  
  
interveiwed!  
  
::looks at leggy:: YOUR MINE!!! *eg * ::grabs hand::  
  
Daine: HEY!! THAT'S MY MAN!  
  
Zurizip: ::waves hand:: Shush!  
  
Daine: MMMPH!!  
  
Zurizip: ::glare:: Come on Legolas, she'll be ok…  
  
Legolas: *eep *  
  
Zurizip: ::snaps fingers::  
  
Forest dissolves into a talk show set  
  
Legolas: ::jaw drops::  
  
Zurizip: Yes, rather nice isnt it? ::sits down:: Sit.  
  
Legolas: No!  
  
Zurizip: Now please…  
  
Legolas: No.  
  
Zurizip: Ok… 'Petrificas Totalis!'…  
  
Legolas: ::falls down::  
  
Zurizip: So, Legolas, would you rather sit?  
  
Legolas: MMMPH!  
  
Zurizip: I thought so…::Snaps fingers::  
  
Legolas: I wont ask… WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF ME!?!  
  
Zurizip: ::smiles sweetly:: Just some answers…  
  
Legolas: *gulp *  
  
Zurizip: First, some questions from the origanal author… Legolas, what  
  
is  
  
there between Aragorn and Sam? will you marry Zurizip? legolas, will  
  
you  
  
marry me? how do you feel about the rest of the fellowship? how do you  
  
feel  
  
about me mixing up and mutilating your story?  
  
Leoglas: WHAT???  
  
Zurizip: ::glare:: Answers, now.  
  
Legolas: I know nothing about aragorn and sam…  
  
Zurizip: *sigh * darn, I was hoping you could clear that up…  
  
Legolas: No I will not marry you…  
  
Zurizip: That's ok, ill take sam…  
  
Legolas: No I will not marry whoever me is…  
  
Zurizip: You do know that she is controlling your actions…  
  
Legolas: *eep * Here are my opinions on the fellowship:  
  
Boromir:Yikes  
  
Aragorn: needs to wash his hair  
  
Frodo: little puppy dog looks are annoying…  
  
Pip: PIP!  
  
Merry: Meridoc? What a weird name…  
  
Gandalf: That hat scares me…  
  
Sam: *sigh * Hey why did I do that?  
  
Zurizip: ::blush:: oops, author slip…  
  
Legolas: o..k… ne how…  
  
Gimli: Little annoying thing that everyone always forgets until he  
  
saves  
  
their butts…  
  
Zurizip: There now, that wasn't so hard was it?  
  
Legolas: *sigh * Nope, in fact, I feel much better! As for the last  
  
question…  
  
Zurizip: Well that's all for now folks!!!  
  
Legolas: Hey!  
  
suddenly Lady_Diane walks into set, waves to Legolas  
  
Lady_Daine: Hey, how do you like the way that I've put you into my fan ficton?  
  
Legolas: It's fine I guess…I'm happy to be sane, but does this have anything at all to do with it? And since you can do anything with this can I ask you a favor?  
  
Lady_Daine: **grins evilly** No this has nothing to do with anything at all, I just felt like putting it it. And sure, what's the favor?  
  
Legolas: Are you going to make Daine go back To Tortall in the end? because she was never supposed to be there? could you just leave her?  
  
Lady_Daine: considering I had you two in love so quickly, I would never break anyone's heart. She's going to stay I think (another good story heheh)  
  
Legolas: Zurizip how come you're not as sane as she is?  
  
Zurizip: ::snaps fingers:: BB now!  
  
Legolas: ::dissappears::  
  
Zurizip: That's all folks, come back later for Daine on Zurizip's  
  
Interveiwing Corner!  
  
It is a song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some  
  
ppl,  
  
Zurizip: Ok, cut the theme song, no body's listening ne more!  
  
*****  
  
righty o! on to daine...*eeeg* i luv being evil...  
  
  
  
Mehorae len Laediel - Annundaeiel lo Mirkwood 


	9. The Last interview!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing at all… This was the last interview I PROMISE!!!! the really story is coming back very soon!!!  
  
  
  
Zurizip: Oh! Hello! And welcome to Zurizip's Interveiw Corner! Im  
  
just  
  
stalking daine right now, so if youll excuse me? ::snaps fingers::  
  
appears next to Daine  
  
Zurizip: HI!  
  
Daine: Oh gods…  
  
Zurizip: * g* Glad to see me?  
  
Daine: That wouldn't be the word I'd use…  
  
Legolas: No! I won't have her subjected to your questioning!!!!!!!  
  
Zurizip: Legolas, I would have thought you were smarter than that,  
  
don't  
  
you ever learn?  
  
Legolas: * gulp*  
  
Daine: * sniff* Don't worry Legolas, We shall meet again! I promise  
  
it!  
  
Legolas: I'll * sniff* never forget you…  
  
Daine: and I you!  
  
Zurizip: ::rolls eyes:: Ok, cut the cliché….  
  
Daine: Oh, right… ::disentangles self from Legolas::  
  
Zurizip: Ok, close your eyes, and click your heels and say, 'There's  
  
no  
  
place like the inteveiw lair, There's no place like the inteveiw lair,  
  
There's no place like the inteveiw lair…'  
  
Daine: ::does so::… …. Does this do anything?  
  
Zurizip: * snort* no, it just really really funny!!!!  
  
Daine: ::glare::  
  
Zurizip: * g* ::snaps fingers::  
  
Appears in interveiwing lair  
  
Daine: um….  
  
Zurizip: So…sit…  
  
Daine: Yes, mam…  
  
Zurizip: * g* I luv being the writer…  
  
Daine: What are you going to do with me?  
  
Zurizip: Do? ::innocent look:: Why nothing my dear, I simply want a  
  
few  
  
questions answered, from the supreme ruler of your current state, Lady  
  
Daine!  
  
Daine: You mean theres a reason for all of this?  
  
Zurizip: ::odd look:: Of course! 42!  
  
Daine: ummmmm….o…k…  
  
Zurizip: Anyway! Onto the questions!  
  
Daine: Gods!  
  
Zurizip:How do you feel about the others in the fellowship?Do you  
  
really  
  
want to complete the quest of do you just want to spend time with  
  
legolas?How do you feel about legolas?What is the capital of  
  
bardados?How do  
  
you feel about Alanna's marrige to a really bad guy? How do you feel  
  
about  
  
the fact that your supposed to be in love with Numair?  
  
Daine: I don't care, I have Legolas. I don't care, I have Legolas. I  
  
don't  
  
care, I have Legolas. Where's Bardados? I don't care, I have Legolas…  
  
Zurizip: ::hides behind boromir's shield::  
  
Daine: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!????????????????????????  
  
Zurizip: * eep* nothing…  
  
Daine: ::glare::  
  
Zurizip: Heh…Heh… Well folks…that's…heh…all for today, come back  
  
soon…*  
  
eep* ::snaps fingers::  
  
Daine: ::dissappears::  
  
Zurizip: Phew!  
  
It is a song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some  
  
people,  
  
started singing it not knowing what is was, now everybody's singing it  
  
forever just because, It is a song that never ends, yes it goes on and  
  
on my  
  
friends, some people, started singing it not knowing what is was, now  
  
everybody's singing it forever just because  
  
Zurizip: CUT IT OUT!!!  
  
music fades  
  
Crazy, I was crazy once, they locked me in a rubber room, then I died  
  
they  
  
buried me then the worms came, worms I hate worms, they drive me crazy,  
  
Crazy, I was crazy once, they locked me in a rubber room, then I died  
  
they  
  
buried me then the worms came, worms I hate worms, they drive me crazy…  
  
Zurizip: STOP!!!  
  
It is a song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some  
  
people,  
  
started singing it not knowing what is was, now everybody's singing it  
  
forever just because,  
  
Zurizip: NOW DON'T START THAT AGAIN!!! ::runs off to find someone to  
  
kill::  
  
*  
  
there you have it, feel free to mess around, much  
  
nonsensicale....nonsense,  
  
but oh well! 


	10. and now, the real story again!

soooo, when we parted with sanity, Daine and Legolas had snuck away from the rest of the fellowship in order to save the quest for the ring, because the ring bearer had randomly married Arwen due to the fact that the author was corrupted by **cough cough ZURIZIP**  
  
I own nothing at all from Lord of the rings, or from Tamora Pierce or anything else that's in this that is copyrighted.( But I can still mutilate their stories in fan fiction ;) *g*  
  
  
  
So, the two sane people of the fellowship walked on, determined to end this perilous quest. They walked until midday and then sat down to eat a meal of oak trees (Don't ask) they were about to take a huge bight when suddenly, it screamed! What the two had been trying to eat was an ent.  
  
"Uh oh" Daine said as it lifted both of them hi into the air. It spoke  
  
"How dare you try to eat me."  
  
"It was an accident." Legolas stammered  
  
"You accidentally tried to take a bite of me?"  
  
"No, but we didn't know you were an ent!"  
  
"Oh, I see ok."  
  
"So you'll let us go?" asked Daine hopefully. The ent shook its head.  
  
"Nope, we'll have a council to decide what do to you." Legolas groaned loudly.  
  
"What's wrong?" asked Daine  
  
"It takes them hours just to say hello, to discuss our fate will take months, even years!" Daine groaned with him. They were just about resigned to their fate as the ent got ready to walk when horrible sounds filled the air. A Nazgul in a frilly pink dress came flying in singing Brittany spears' "Baby one more time". The ent fled in terror, dropping the Daine and Legolas who stood up, weapons ready. The Nazgul flew down and bowed stiffly.  
  
"I am Nazgul number 4, also known as Patsi." All of a sudden king Arthur came running in banging coconuts together. Daine, Legolas and the Nazgul stared at him.  
  
"ooops, sorry, I heard Patsi's name and I came riding over." He said. They continued to stair. Finally the Nazgul said.  
  
"You're not riding, you're banging coconuts together"  
  
"So?"  
  
"That's not riding. Where'd you get the coconut anyway?"  
  
"I found it."  
  
"But they're not native to this land, are they?"  
  
"The swallow might fly south in the winter, but it is no stranger to these lands."  
  
"Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?"  
  
"No, it would carry one here though."  
  
"Not possible, a 5 ounce swallow can't carry a 1 pound coconut." The Nazgul noticed that Daine and Legolas were sneaking away and ran after them. King Arthur left, never to be heard of again.  
  
"Anyway." the Nazgul said to Legolas and Daine. "Sauron, ahem, bribed me to come baby sit you two, I got my very won chapter in this story. So I guess you're going to Mordor to destroy the evil ring. I'll just show you the way."  
  
  
  
Daine and Legolas walked briskly along the path that would hopefully eventually take them to Mordor. If we remember correctly, Frodo and Sam had Gollum to guide them, but Legolas and Daine had their very own Nazgul the Sauron had sent to chaperone the two young people so that he could settle in with his new bride, Alanna of pirate's swoop. Anyway, the young people and the Nazgul name Patsi got to the Castle of Mordor really quickly. Swan lake music started playing as they reached the front door.  
  
"Can we have something a little more?" Legolas started  
  
"Dramatic?" finished Daine. Funeral march starts to play. Legolas and Daine at the same time said "HEY!!" The "who wants to be a millionaire" music starts playing. Legolas starts to storm the sound engineer, and shoots him with his bow. Mysterious music starts playing  
  
  
  
what happens next? I don't know, sorry its short there'll be more soon!! 


	11. Legolas gets in trouble for killing off ...

Disclaimer: I own nothing from Lord of the rings or any of the copy righted material in this fan fiction  
  
Daine and Legolas were just walking into the cave that would take them to the cracks of Mordor, after killing the sound engineer because he played bad music. They were about to enter when the director (meeee!) came storming into the story.  
  
"What the heck are you doing?? You just killed my sound engineer, what do you expect me to do without him?" I screamed. Legolas looked a little pale.  
  
"It was an accident, besides, he played bad music!"  
  
"I don't care, someone's going to get mad when they find out that you've murdered a family member!"  
  
"Just tell them it was a heart attack or something!" suggested Daine.  
  
"I can't he has a fricken arrow wound!" Legolas sighed.  
  
"OK, just.." He fumbled for a piece of paper and a pen from one pocket and scribbled something on it. "Here's my insurance number and my lawyers name, she'll take care of it ok?"  
  
"Fine!" I grabbed the piece of paper and looked at it.  
  
"Your insurance number is in elfish and your lawyer is Galadrial!" I exclaimed  
  
"Do you want to finish this story or not?" he asked, exasperated.  
  
"Ok, fine, but I'm going to let Zurizip steal you for another interview!" He shuddered  
  
"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"  
  
"Just get on with it, but don't expect to get paid!"  
  
"I'm not getting paid, this is real!"  
  
"Oops, ok just get on with it, that Nazgul is driving me berserk!" *** behind them the Nazgul has its face in a bow of donuts, picking each one up, tasting it and putting it in his pocket. "Ohhhhh frosting and sugar, they are my preciousssssssssessss" ***  
  
"Can I shoot it?" asked Legolas  
  
"NO, you've shot quite enough of my staff!"  
  
"He's in your staff?"  
  
"No"  
  
"Then can't I…"  
  
"NOOO just get on with it."  
  
Daine and Legolas walked up to the entrance, found it, and tried to open it. It was stuck. "Darn!" Daine said. Legolas swore in Elvish. Out of nowhere Sergewen, walked in with one of those cool thingys that the police use to open your door when you lock yourself out of your car (I've never done it, honest).  
  
"Here you go" she said, popping open the door. Legolas and Daine just stared at her.  
  
"ok, who are you?" asked Legolas.  
  
"I reviewed one of Lady_Daine's stories so now I get to be in it! Can I come with you and see when you throw the ring into the big pit?"  
  
"Ok, sure." Legolas stammered, still unsure of this new character. The three quickly progressed through the castle to find it strangely empty. It seemed that all the occupants had gone to Sauron's Wedding and it left them free to go right through and to the cracks of Mordor.  
  
Legolas Reached into a pocket where he had kept the ring safe, only to find it wasn't there!"  
  
"What the? Where?" Sergewen, looked confused for a second then reached into her own pocket.  
  
"I have it here." She said, pulling out the ring and handing it to Legolas. Daine and Legolas looked at her.  
  
"How?" Daine began.  
  
"Uhh Legolas, can I have one of your arrows?" asked Sergewen. Legolas was so confused that he just handed it over.  
  
"Ok I better be going now." Sergewen, disappeared.  
  
"I'd like to lodge a complaint-" Legolas started  
  
"You killed my sound engineer!"  
  
"Never mind." He finished  
  
  
  
Does the ring go into the pit? If not, what happens instead? New chapter soon based on how you voted! 


	12. another interview, to stall the end of t...

Hello! And welcome to Zurizip's Interveiw Corner…  
  
Lady Daine: We have something special for you today…  
  
Zurizip:We do?  
  
Lady Daine: ::nods:: uh huh! Please welcome THE DATING GAME  
  
CONTESTENTS!!  
  
Zurizip: HUH?? Well, I guess it isnt the interveiw corner now… this  
  
calls  
  
for a change in decoration… ::snaps fingers::  
  
Everything turns shiny blue  
  
Lady Daine: …ok… why blue?  
  
Zurizip: I dunno, for hyper intelligance?  
  
Lady Daine: ::odd look:: Right, any way, PLEASE WELCOME…Legolas!!  
  
Zurizip:And…Kel, Alanna, and Daine!  
  
Lady Daine: Ok Legolas, now, you get to ask each of these lovely  
  
ladies 5  
  
questions, and then you can pick one to take on a DREAM DATE!!! Tell  
  
them  
  
what they'll win Zurizip…  
  
Zurizip: Well Lady Daine, Legolas and his choosen girl will go on a  
  
whirlwind tour of middle earth while trying to destroy an evil ring,  
  
all in  
  
all, the woods will be gorgeous and the mountain will be steamy!!!  
  
Lady Daine: *sigh * doesn't that sound romantic?  
  
Zurizip: Yep! So Legolas, What do you want to know about Kel?  
  
Legolas: ::looks @ Daine:: Erm, Keladry, What do you think  
  
about…erm…the  
  
weather??  
  
Kel: ::looks @ cleon:: Erm, its…um…great…  
  
Legolas:How do you feel about Gandalf being voted off the fellowship?  
  
Kel: Whos Gandalf?  
  
Legolas: Erm, whats the meaning of life?  
  
Kel: Its…  
  
Zurizip:42!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Lady Daine: um, yes, perhaps we should move on to our next contestent…  
  
Legolas: What is your name?  
  
Alanna: Sir Alanna of Pirate's Swoop!  
  
Legolas: What is your mission?  
  
Alanna: To seek my husband George!  
  
Legolas: What is the capital of Barbados?  
  
Alanna: I don't know that! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zurizip: ummm, yeah…::looks down at floor:: Alanna, you can get up now…  
  
Alanna: Oh, right… ::gets up and wanders off set::  
  
Lady Daine: Right…  
  
Legolas: Daine, will you go out with me?  
  
Daine:Yes!  
  
Legolas: Daine, will you marry me?  
  
Daine: Yes!!  
  
Legolas: Daine…  
  
Zurizip: STOP!!!  
  
Legolas: What?  
  
Zurizip: I don't want to hear the next question…  
  
Legolas: Oh…  
  
Lady Daine: Well, that's all for now! Please say congratulations to  
  
Legolas and Daine!!  
  
Zurizip: So long you two lovebirds…  
  
Legolas: ::grabs Daine and runs off set:: Lets get out of here!  
  
Lady Daine: Erm…Zurizip?  
  
Zurizip: Hmm?  
  
Lady Daine: Are you sure that's a good idea, leaving those two out in  
  
the  
  
wilderness? Without, protection?  
  
Zurizip: ::nods:: quite true… Oy! Sauron!  
  
Sauron: *sigh * Yes oh author of infinate wisdom?  
  
Zurizip:* G* Have I ever mentioned that I luv being the author?  
  
Lady Daine: Yes… Anyway, Sauron, could you spare us a Nazgul?  
  
Sauron: ::suspisios look:: Why?  
  
Zurizip: We just need someone to chaperone our two little lovebirds…  
  
Sauron: Hmmmmm  
  
Lady Daine: Come on…Please?  
  
Sauron: I dunno…  
  
Zurizip: Do it or ill change you into a little white poodle, dress you  
  
up  
  
in pink ribbons and give you to the arictocrats in Gondor…  
  
Sauron: * neep* Ok,… ummm… #4!!! Come here!  
  
Nazgul #4: Yes master?  
  
Sauron: ::shoves Nazgul #4 to Zurizip:: I need you to go and keep an  
  
eye on  
  
the two that just left…  
  
#4: You mean those reveiwers I saw walking out a second ago?  
  
Sauron: No you dolt! The lovebirds!  
  
#4: YOU MEAN I HAVE TO BABYSIT??  
  
Zurizip: * g*  
  
Sauron: Well, I wouldn't call it just that, its more like…erm…  
  
Lady Daine:Come on, You owe us a favor!  
  
Zurizip: Yeah! What about your interveiw?  
  
#4: Well…  
  
Zurizip: Great!  
  
Lady Daine: And here's your uniform so we can keep track of you!  
  
::hands #4  
  
a frilly pink bath robe::  
  
#4:NOT THE ROBES!!  
  
Zurizip: *g * Go on. Try em!  
  
#4: * mutter* ::puts on robes::  
  
Lady Daine: Ok, and heres your noble steed…  
  
Zurizip: ::hands #4 a pair of coconuts::  
  
#4: NOBLE STEED????  
  
Lady Daine: What? We're on a short budget!  
  
Zurizip: What budget?  
  
Lady Daine: ::shrugs::  
  
Zurizip: Now, GO!!  
  
#4: But…but…  
  
Sauron: ::takes out big long sword::  
  
#4: Right… ::runs off  
  
Zurizip: Well thanks for coming, to ZURIZIP'S INTERVEIW CORNER!!!  
  
Lady Daine: Aka THE DATING GAME!!  
  
Zurizip: All knowing Ah? Where?? ::looks around:: (don't ask)  
  
It is a song that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends,  
  
Zurizip: STOP!!  
  
Some people, started singing it not knowing what it was,  
  
Zurizip: ::goes off to kill something::  
  
Now every bodys singing it forever…SCRRRRREEEEEEEEEECHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Zurizip: Much better.  
  
  
  
Mehorae len Laediel - Annundaeiel lo Mirkwood 


	13. who done it?

Part 13  
  
Disclaimer: I own no copyrighted material in this chapter, just like every other one  
  
ohhh the lucky part!!  
  
PLEASE NOTE: The Monty python jokes were just randomness, I think it was a funny show, but I am not obsessed (besides I didn't put any in, it was Zurizip. She does have something for the song that never ends (I have noo idea, ask her) this is MY story, and it is MY choice what happens. If I want to twist couples, then I have the right to do so, Legolas and Daine ARE together and all you peoples who want everything to stay true to the book, then you shouldn't be reading fan fiction. I am not sick and twisted; I just like to put chaos into my stories. I will not turn this into a slash (What's a slash?) I won't mention any NAMES because I you know who you are. It is most defiantly ENT not ANT you fool, have you even read the books? PLEASE do not tell me my work is DIMB, just stop reading it. If you want to state a real opinion then go ahead. I real opinion does not say "This is dumb". it says "I didn't like this piece because." That is a review. For all those who submitted real reviews, I thank you; your critic has been taken to heart. Last, but not least, the answer is 42.  
  
Legolas chucked the ring into the depths of Mordor, as the two watched it sink. Suddenly Shaly came in, walking to where Legolas and Daine were standing, watching.  
  
"Hello." she said cheerfully. "Nice job with the ring." Once again Legolas and Daine were both very confused.  
  
"Umm, hi?" Legolas said. "Who are you?" Shaly smiled even wider as she answered  
  
"I reviewed Lady_Daine's story, and now I'm in it. And I've got this." She held out were hand. Daine looked a little scared.  
  
"What's that? There's nothing in your hand."  
  
"Oh yeah, watch this!" She snapped her fingers and all three of them were over the gap that was left in the bridge in the mines of Moria. They started to fall. "OOPS!" she said and snapped again. They were right on top of a river, about to fall in. She kept snapping, putting them over a high cliff, about to fall into the fires of Mordor, and every other place imaginable that you wouldn't want to be before landing in a lush and green meadow. Legolas and Daine both tried to sneak away, but Shaly quickly snapped her fingers again and a horse appeared. She quickly mounted and caught up with the two.  
  
"I've never tried this before but.." snapping three times, she pointed at Legolas. A dazed look came to his eyes as he stopped running.  
  
"You know, Shaly, I've never noticed this, but I am quite taken with you." Shaly grinned ear to ear as he walked towards her until Daine came up behind him and dropped kick him. He immediately came back to his senses and looked strangely at Shaly.  
  
"What just happened?" he asked. Shaly sniggered but Daine pointed an arrow at her, so she decided that,  
  
"I got to be going now," she said. Snapping her fingers they were once again suspended over the gap in the mines of Moria.  
  
"Oops." she said, snapped her fingers again and disappeared leaving Daine and Legolas to fall down into the black depths. As they reached the bottom, a portal appeared and opened. They both fell right into it…  
  
A cold stone floor met them as they tumbled into a familiar place: Balor's needle.  
  
"So, we're back here again." Legolas grumbled  
  
"I wonder who else is back here?" Daine wondered. Making their way down the needle and to the throne room they saw that Alanna, Aragorn and the rest of the fellowship, Jon, Thayet, George, Cleon, and Keldry were all standing around in confusion. When Daine inquired where Numair was, Aragorn answered grimly.  
  
"A portal just opened up where each of us were standing, except for Numair's. He's stuck in middle earth, and we're stuck here."  
  
"We destroyed the ring." Legolas said. "So does it matter?"  
  
"The ring may be gone, but there is still many shadow creatures to be taken care of, not to mention the fact that we all want to go home." Merry said grimly  
  
"Plus, I wanted to Kill Nazgul number 4!" Pippin added glumly.  
  
"Is there anyone else here who could make a portal?" Asked Jon.  
  
"I could perhaps." Gandalf spoke up. " But it would take Lady Alanna's help and days of thought for me to figure out how. Maybe even weeks"  
  
"I don't think we have a choice." Said Frodo  
  
"Excuse me." Kel bowed to the King and queen cautiously. "But, I'm not even supposed to be here and why am I attracted to him?" She asked, indicating Cleon and giving him a small hug. Jon put his head in his hands.  
  
"Things have been messed up and twisted far to much. But I think I have finally found out who the culprit is and who I we need to destroy to put things back together." Everyone looked curiously at him.  
  
"Who?" Sam asked Jon frowned,  
  
"Its…  
  
  
  
Sorry, but I have to cut it off here because my AP physics and chem. homework must get done. who do you think it is? 


	14. and who did it? more mysteries and you d...

Middle earth to Tortall, part 14  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing: zero, though I wish I did own a nice sword…..  
  
"It's, it's… wait a second I don't even know." King Jon finished. I just thought it sounded cool. The entire company groaned.  
  
"Now what?" asked Daine.  
  
"We wait." Responded Aragorn. Suddenly a green portal appeared. The fellowship was so stunned that they didn't even walk towards it. A black- gloved hand reached out and grabbed Daine by the arm. She tried to resist but it had some kind of magical hold on her.  
  
"Help!" she screamed. Aragorn, Boromir, Numair and Legolas immediately ran forward and tugged on her, trying to break free of the glove's grasp; but it was to no avail. A whispery and low voice hissed around them.  
  
"So you want to come for the ride to! That can be arranged!" Alanna and King Jon grabbed onto Aragorn's arm to help him pull but the hand gave a great shake throwing them into the portal. George, Kel, Cleon, Neal, Gimli, Gandalf, and the rest of the fellowship just stood there, still dumbfounded.  
  
Daine, Legolas, Numair, Aragorn, Boromir, Alanna, and Jon were thrown into a pitch-black chamber. No one spoke, Numair used his gift to bath the room in light. All they could see was a hazy smoke filling the room.  
  
"Don't breath it!" Legolas yelled as he covered his nose and mouth with a piece of cloth. It was too late for the rest. They drifted into sleep.  
  
Legolas paced the room around his sleeping companions, arrow strung in bow; waiting for something to happen. Finally, a wall on the far side of the room opened up and several hooded men entered. Two of them looked up at Legolas. He couldn't see their expression but he could tell that they were surprised to see one still standing. Legolas shot his arrow at the first of the hooded men. The man said a quick word and the arrow stopped in mid air and fell, useless to the ground. Uh oh, Legolas thought. He was no match for magic; even his Elvin magic didn't seem like it would help with these, what ever they were. Another one pointed at Legolas and chanted something that he didn't understand. The last thing he felt was blackness taking over him.  
  
Daine woke up with the biggest headache that she'd ever had. Groaning she tried to turn over, finding that her hands are arms were bound. Trying to look around she saw Aragorn, Numair, Alanna, Jon, and Boromir all tied up to pillar surrounding her. They were not awake yet Legolas was nowhere to be seen. Someone or something in many dark robes was sitting on a chair looking down at her.  
  
"So my dear, have I sent you on a great adventure? I hope you have enjoyed your little elf friend because you won't be romancing with him anymore." Anger filled Daine.  
  
"What have you done to Legolas?" she screamed.  
  
"Oh, nothing" the voice assured her. 'it's just that you're to be my queen now, The elf can't have you!" Daine looked up at the creature a gasped…..  
  
Who was it? You get to decide. Some character from either Lord of the Rings or anything In Tamora Pierce (including circle opens and circle of magic) I'll put them all in a hat and choose one. The first person to suggest it will get to be in my next chapter (mwhhahahahahah) please R/R!!! The person HAS to be MALE (No slashes) thankee new chapter up as soon as I have a bad guy. you can put it in reviews, e-mail me, or AIM me. thankee 


	15. what drama!

Part 15…. it was…  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing ( but a bow would be nice  
  
…Daine had never seen King Thranduil before but Legolas had described him so vividly the she recognized him under all the clothes.  
  
"But you're…. you're…Legolas's FATHER!" She stammered. He robed man got up and smiled grimly.  
  
"I know who I am animal lady." Daine struggled to get out up but her wrists and legs were tied tightly. She screamed as the figure advanced on her. Suddenly a door behind him opened and Legolas walked in, looking dazed and confused. Daine had seen the same look on people's faces before; It was what they looked like when magic had been used on them.  
  
"Dad, what are you doing?" he demanded looking from the robed man to Daine. You're 800 thousand years older then she it and she's MY lover!"  
  
"She's 2000 years younger then you!" Thranduil retorted. Daine looked confused.  
  
"But I though you were twenty." She told Legolas.  
  
"I am." He said. "I'm 2020. Elves don't age as humans do because we're immortal. I look twenty. What's going on here?"  
  
"I'm not having any son's of mine with her!" he pointed at Daine. "She's attractive enough. I'll have fun with her and then get rid…" Legolas cut in,  
  
"DAD that's sick! Why are you doing this, you've gone insane." The robed men from before took off their hoods. Legolas knew several of the Elvin faces that were revealed, but there was one human that he didn't recognize. Daine did.  
  
"Alex….Alex of Tirragon! But…but you're dead!" she cried.  
  
"Not anymore, with the help of the elves, I'm alive as long as they are!" He laughed insanely. Legolas strung his bow. They hadn't tied him up or taken his weapons in reverence to being the Prince of Mirkwood.  
  
"I won't let you do this!" he said "I never thought that you would do…do such a thing." He was so busy that he didn't notice Alex coming from behind him, sword upraised. Since the man had become a part of Thranduil he had gotten the ability to be silent as he walked behind him. Legolas had advanced on his father, hands shaking at the thought of having to loose his bow. Thranduil laughed.  
  
"You won't touch me Legolas, you've never had the heart to kill anything save a few orcs!" Legolas tried to steady his voice as he said,  
  
"I will…for Daine."  
  
Alex swung his sword around and hit Legolas on the head with the flat of it. He fell over, unconscious. Daine screamed and struggled against her bonds. Thranduil approached her, smiling again.  
  
"I never liked him anyway." He said Suddenly a bright flash of light blinded the elves as Zurizip and Angelic Star walked into the room; Zurizip had a pair of knives and Angelic Star had a quarter staff. "Stop right there!" Zurizip shouted. She twirled her knives around and let them go. They hit either side of Thranduil's robe and then buried themselves in the wall. He tried to get out but was stuck. Angelic Star took her staff around Alex and brought it down on her head.  
  
"Who are you?" Zurizip called. Angelic Star shrugged,  
  
"I reviewed Lady_Daine's fan fiction so I guess that I'm in it," She said. The rest of the Elvin guards started to come towards them, freeing their master and trying to wake Alex.  
  
"Uh oh," Zurizip said. "This can't be good." Angelic Star looked around and saw Numair, Aragorn, Boromir, Alanna, and Jon starting to wake up. She called to Zurizip.  
  
"I don't think this is funny anymore, if they catch us we're dead. Get them untied! I'll get their weapons!" she pointed at the allies around her. Zurizip nodded and took another knife from her boot. She quickly went around cutting ropes and trying to reawaken Numair, Aragorn, Boromir, Alanna, and Jon. Angelic star followed suit, trying to dodge the coming elves and hand them their weapons. They were at first confused but quickly become aware of their surroundings. They took their weapons and started fighting with the elves. The tide quickly turned. Zurizip untied Daine who quickly went to Legolas.  
  
"Wake up…please wake up!" she said. Legolas stirred and smiled up at her, still dazes.  
  
"It's going to take a lot more then a sword to get rid of me." Daine nodded and handed him his bow.  
  
"Come on, we have some work to do."  
  
The battle raged on, Zurizip, angelic star, the Tortallians, Boromir, Aragorn, and Legolas Tried not to kill. Numair and Jon used sleeping spells as best they could and the rest just tried to knock people unconscious. Finally only Alex and The lord of Mirkwood.  
  
"I don't believe you dad!" Legolas shouted. "I thought that you were…wise" They circled each other. Alanna was fighting with Alex.  
  
"I'm gonna kill you once and for all!" she hissed.  
  
"Over my dead body." He retorted. Zurizip and Angelic star walked behind Alex, finally taking in the shock that they were fighting alongside the heros that they had read about.  
  
"What can we do?" angelic star asked. "The others are just keeping the elves at bay. I don't want to kill him."  
  
"Neither do I." Zurizip whispered back. "We could …" she stopped as she saw a small gold flash on Alex's hand. She leaned over and cut it off. It fell off her and dissapeared  
  
Alex screamed in pain and fell over. (wow doesn't this seem familiar) The lord of Mirkwood fell down, unconscious. ,Alex's body disappeared as smoke surrounded them as well as a green portal. Silently they all walked into it.  
  
As soon as they recognized the palace the they were in, Legolas fell to the ground, weak from the magic that had been cast on him and the pressure of fighting with his father. Daine ran to his side but was quickly reassured that he was fine, just tired.  
  
"What happened?" asked Aragorn once again.  
  
"That was really strange. I'd like to lodge a complaint to the writer of this…"  
  
an omnipotent voice shouted down.  
  
"Yeah right, Legolas killed my sound engineer." Jon swore at Legolas and told him in no uncertain terms that if he hadn't been weak then a dual would have been in store. He was rewarded from a killer look from Daine and something dropping on his head from a nearby hawk.  
  
There will be more soon!! I promise!!!! I just need to decide if Legolas's father was really bad or if he was possessed by Alex of Tirragon. Please submit your vote with LOTS of reviews!!!!!!!!! I'll write more soon if you like this. Also, should Daine stay with Legolas or should she go back to Numair? I haven't taken out Zurizip or angelic star out yet, they still have a part to play (Mwa hahahaha)  
  
More later  
  
Laurel 


	16. more modern people and a really stressed...

Part 16 (oh dear)  
  
10:00 Am, Tortall Palace  
  
  
  
Legolas paced the floor of the Tortallian palace, his thought completely jumbled.  
  
"That wasn't my father! He would never.."  
  
"Do that, never ever, he respects your decisions." Daine finished the sentence he had been muttering over and over again to himself. "Legolas, there are many possibilities for what could have happened. I explained Alex's history to you last night. He could have very easily possessed him, or Roger could have been working through both of them You need not worry, No one will hold it against and you we'll figure out what happened. You need to rest, whoever did this drugged you with something strong enough to kill a mortal!"  
  
"I'm fine." Legolas began to retort before sinking into a nearby chair in exhaustion. The entire Fellowship and the Tortallians were completely baffled at what in the world had gone on to cause Legolas's father and Alex of Tirragon to kidnap Daine and a few others and try to force her into marriage with the lord of mirkwood. Legolas had been up and about despite the chief healer of Tortall's complaint that he needed to rest. Daine had taken this argument on but was still losing.  
  
"I'll tell you what," Daine bargained. "You rest and abide by the healer's commands and I'll see what Numair can do to retrace this magic." I'm not going to lie in a bad while an old spinster makes me drink really nasty tasting things. Besides, I want to question these two children that walked in and helped us."  
  
"You can question them from your bed!" Aragorn said, walking into the room with Numair, The rest of the fellowship, and Lady Alanna. Legolas opened his mouth to protest when Boromir shoved a cup into his hands.  
  
"Fine!" he said. "Then just drink this, it'll strengthen you." Aragorn was going to protest this but Alanna kicked him and whispered something that Daine and Legolas couldn't hear. He changed his mind about arguing and agreed.  
  
"Just drink this and I'll let you question the two kids that are here." Legolas scowled but he started to drink it. If he had been a little more sharp sensed, as elves usually were, he would have noticed sooner that it had been…  
  
"Drugged!" he yelled as loud as he could, though the sleeping potion was already starting to work. "You drug-g-e-d m-e." Falling asleep, Legolas slouched over. Aragorn and Boromir quickly bore him upstairs to abed while Numair cast a spell over him that wouldn't allow him to get up. Walking away from the infirmary, the company went to another room where Angelic Angel (Who's name is Laura, I will use that, hi Laura! if you hit me over the head with another book I'll be forced to do unhappy things with your character in this story (mwa hahahaha) and Zurizip (Who's name Is Kate, hi Kate!) were examining the room around them with fascination.  
  
"Wow!" Laura said, "This is even better then the book!" Kate nodded in agreement. The night before had been traumatizing, when they got back from the ordeal all anyone had wanted to do was sleep so the two had been given a room and had only recently woken up. Numair and Aragorn had just knocked on the door and politely entered when a strange and way too familiar light flashed once again and two people came hurtling into the room. Dragonlet and Canadian Moose fell down roughly with a groan. Upon realizing where they were, their spirits brightened.  
  
"Hello," Canadian Moose chimed cheerfully. She was quite an attractive girl with waist length russet hair and creamy complexion. She was wearing an ankle length khaki skirt and a lavender blouse with laced up sleeves. Flip-flops woven out of straw were falling off her pink toenails, which matched her fingernails (Am I anywhere close) Numair noticed this right away and was already quite taken with her at a first glance. Dragonlet also was in khaki, though with boot length jeans over sneakers and a pale green top with beaded embroidery.  
  
"Uhh, hi?" Aragorn said, very confused.  
  
"Hello." Dragonlet was at first uncomfortable until she recognized Laura and Kate. Kate waved and made introductions to each of the Fellowship members and the Tortallians. Numair spoke.  
  
"well, I'm not sure who you are, but those two," he pointed at Kate and Laura, "Have most likely saved us all. Would you give us the pleasure of breakfast in the main hall in 15 minutes?" All 4 girls nodded.  
  
"Ok." The fellowship and the Tortallians backed out of the room, Alanna the last one out.  
  
"There's fresh clothes in that closet over there." she said pointing to a nearby closet. "We think they will fit you." Alanna left and closed the door.  
  
"Wow!" Laura said.  
  
"This is odd." Dragonlet put in.  
  
"But cool." Canadian Moose added. Kate walked over to the closet to find several gowns in it. She made a face at them but decided not to keep the dirty ones that she had fought in yesterday on. Thumbing through it she found a pale blue dress with short sleeves and several skirts. Ducking behind a screen, she changed into it, finding it extremely hard to walk.  
  
"This sucks!" she announced to the other 4 girls. Canadian Moose and Dragonlet had just come in and were happy with what they had on. Laura took her turn digging through the closet. Coming to the back she finally found a few pairs of breeches, tunics, and shirts. She threw a couple to Kate and put her own on. They were comfortable enough but Kate complained anyway.  
  
"This is really cool, but I don't think I'd ever want to dress like this, what ever happened to elvish fashion?"  
  
"Elves don't exist here!" Dragonlet reminded her.  
  
"Ok, we're all ready." Said Canadian Moose. "Now where are we supposed to go?"  
  
It took many minutes and several dead ends to find the great hall, but at last the four teenagers stumbled into it, completely lost. The Tortallians got up to great them, Alanna triumphantly holding her hand out to King Jon who scowled and dropped a gold coin into her hand.  
  
"I told you they'd prefer the breeches." she said, laughing. Jon continued to scowl . The girls noticed Jon and bowed awkwardly. He motioned for them to sit down. Numair directed Canadian Moose to a seat right next to him. She smiled at him hugely which almost made his heart melt, and did cause him to fall right off his chair. It was Alanna's turn to scowl.  
  
  
  
What happens next? haven't decided, will take more ideas. Sorry if this is short.  
  
IMPORTANT!!!! Laura, Kate, Dragonlet, and Canadian Moose! If you would have one gift from each of the three royalties in this what would you ask for (Legolas, Aragorn and Jon) you can ask for one thing from each of them, no proposals!!! Canadian Moose has snagged Numair, any of you want someone else (hint: if they're taken you can't have them!! and I'm not guaranteeing anything!!)  
  
Please excuse grammar/spelling mistakes; my computer is set only to read French!!  
  
thankee, more later  
  
  
  
1 Laurel 


	17. spells, A delirious Legolas, and lots of...

Part 16  
  
Disclaimer: I own no copyrighted material in this chapter  
  
  
  
Legolas woke up with a huge headache and something nagging him. Jumping up quickly and grappling for his bow, something suddenly stopped him. A most beautiful girl was coming towards him, hands upraised.  
  
"Hello." She said in a musical voice. "All is well!" The girl wasn't Daine; it was Shaly. I know, and you know that this was a simple delirious dream, created by Numair as he messed up yet another spell! Well, now you know and I guess I'm a little on the really hyper active side, stupid sugar. What happens now is that Daine gets mad and Joins up with Legolas to try and kill Numair, Canadian Moose intercedes and So Numair falls even more madly in love with her. This plot could take place, but first Legolas needs to shake himself out of this delirious dream, fun fun!  
  
The beautiful girl came and rested her hand on Legolas' forehead. Quickly he felt all pain leave. "Come with me." Shaly said, pointing her hand north of Legolas' bed. There he saw his beloved castle, a smiling father, his green forest home, and a crown, waiting so that he could crown his beloved Shaly. Quickly, he got up and followed her, now noticing that all she was wearing was a sleeveless white gown (BAD mental images, am I embarrassing you enough Shaly? Fun…) He followed her willingly as she half danced, half flew towards the castle.  
  
Meanwhile…  
  
  
  
"So…" King Jon began. "What're your names?" Each of them answered promptly  
  
"Kate, but call me Zurizip."  
  
"Laura"  
  
"Canadian Moose."  
  
"Dragonlet."  
  
"Ohh, what… umm interesting names…"  
  
"They're mostly nicknames." The girls chorused. Servants came into the room with several different kinds of foods. The girls curiously looked at the selections, not quite knowing what was what. Kindly Alanna helped them through their choices. I could now go though a long sequence where someone (cough cough KATE) decides to start a food fight, but you don't really want to get on the bad side of mages, so there wasn't much incident until Aragorn and Jon stood up at the end of the meal.  
  
"We don't really know who you girls are…" Jon began. "But, you have saved our lives… so erm, I have consulted with Aragorn and Legolas." Aragorn stood up and spoke,  
  
"So each of us would like to grant you with a gift, erm, of or ah, from our kingdom. Legolas will also when he wakes up. (Don't even ask how they had the gifts! Just take it in like you do evil math tests) Aragorn snapped his fingers and several more servants walked into the room with large packages. Each left it next to the four girls. They eagerly opened the packages. Although already teenagers, they couldn't resist the excitement of getting a present. Inside were a bow and the crescent moon knives from the elves, and Swords from Aragorn. There was nothing from Tortall. The girls noticed but didn't say anything because it would have been rude and they barely noticed because of their glee.  
  
"Wait until Courtney sees what I got!" Laura exclaimed. "She'll be sooo jealous!" The others agreed. Jon stood up.  
  
"We thought you'd like the weapons, considering your old ones were lost. You must have noticed as well that there was nothing from Tortall." Zurizip shook her head.  
  
"My lord, we need nothing."  
  
"Nonsense!" Jon commended. "We have something extra special that we think you will like. Numair has figured out a way to create the gift on someone. It doesn't work if you've ever had magic worked on you before and most giftless people have before we developed this." He looked at Numair who's black magic swirled around him.  
  
"Wait a second." Dragonlet began. But it was too late. The black magic spread away from his body and was joined by a violet stream from Alanna, and a Blue stream from Jon himself. The girls were dumbfounded. Besides the oddness of having magic cast on them, everything seemed so odd. Why would Jon just go through with such a thing without asking?"  
  
All right I know that was short but I have homework to do. Please R/R with any ideas that you might have for WHY Jon was casting that magic so soon.  
  
Please give me some time I just wanted to put SOMETHING up. Soon more to come! 


	18. What in the

Middle earth to Tortall, chapter 18!!  
  
After about a year and a half, I'm finally finishing it up!!!  
  
I hope you like my ending... if you don't.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing from any of the copyrighted documents in this story; please don't sue me, I want to go to college!!  
  
Also: If you feel like getting depressed, please read my newest story, Crescent moon!!  
  
The magic swirled around the girls and then was gone, but so were the girls.  
  
"What in the world." Began Jon. Numair cut him off cursing and naming all the gods her knew, in order of when he learned them.  
  
"What happened?" Alanna asked impatiently, wanting to know why the spell didn't work.."  
  
"Do you THINK that I have any idea?" Numair asked, continuing his anthology of the gods.  
  
Meanwhile..  
  
  
  
Legolas continued to follow the beautiful girl, watching as she drifted off through his beautiful dream world. Suddenly, something hard and hold hit him very roughly on the head, nearly knocking him to the ground. Cursing, he picked it up, only to see the ring of power in his hand. It began to grow bigger and bigger, heavier and heavier until he could no longer hold its weight. He fell to the ground, but he didn't stop at the green grass below him, he instead fell farther and father...  
  
"Legolas!" came a very annoyed sounding voice from above him. Legolas looked up to see Daine standing over him, a very confused and angry expression on her face.  
  
"What in the world?" He began, looking up into her face. "How am I." Realization stuck him and he quickly jumped out of the bed he was in, and was hurtling down the palace stairs, Daine rushing after him.  
  
  
  
Before Numair knew what hit him, something gold and green had him on the floor, a knife at his throat. "I'm going to." Legolas began but a voice stopped him.  
  
"THAT IS ENOUGH!!!" an omnipotent voice rang out from above. Legolas dropped the knife upon recognizing the voice.  
  
"Mr. T.T.Tolkien?" He stuttered cautiously. Another voice rang out.  
  
"Who is responsible for this mess?" At that point, Jon, Alanna, and the rest of the Tortall crew dropped to the ground.  
  
"Mrs. Pierce?" asked Jon Cautiously.  
  
"WHO??" the voice rang out. A silence like no other reined over all of Tortall. Finally a tiny voice came forth.  
  
"Me.." said lady-Daine, hanging her head. At this, Daine stepped forward.  
  
'Hey! You stole my name!" Daine lept at Lady-Daine but some mysterious power stopped her.  
  
"This is an OUTRAGE!" bellowed to two voices. "You have completely taken all meaning out of my books!"  
  
"Sorry?" Lady-Daine asked, more a question then anything.  
  
"Sorry? Sorry didn't redeem Boromir when he tried to take the ring from Frodo! Sorry didn't keep Joren from dieing in the Chamber of the Ordeal!"  
  
A white mist filled the room and all the fictional characters suddenly disappeared, leaving a complete blackness around Lady-Daine..  
  
TBC??  
  
  
  
I know it was SHORT, but I wanted to update it after all this time. Should I even bother writing more? 


End file.
